Rusty Van University: Quick, Hide The Kids!

This is one of my all time favorite photos.  And no, parents, that’s not my fucking van.  It belongs to the dude who coaches your son’s little league team, but doesn’t actually have a son on the team!  Oh quit being such a bunch of pussies, he’s totally legit! 

Anyhow, the point that I’m trying to make is this: The average American, plus dudes who roll in rusty vans that have “Free Candy” painted on the side of it, spend as much time in their cars each year, that it equates the duration of time that it would take a person to earn TWO Ph.Ds…in one year.  What do you do with that time?  Except you Quesadilla Larry, wherever you are.  Whatever it is, I’m not going to make any judgments.  Maybe you roll in an ice cream truck, playing whatever shitty, kid’s-amusement-park-music those things play, and call yourself Mr. Happy, and, as much as I’d like to, I still won’t judge.  But I would ask everyone to ask themselves the question: Could that time, the time that ultimately adds up to so many years of your life, be spent in a more productive way?  If you say no, you’re lying.  Either that or you already know where I’m going with this…and you’re still lying.  Think about it.  Think of how many things could be accomplished if that time were spent even a little bit more efficiently.  Most people waste it, check that, most people actually get worse than they already are.  For example, just today I watched some dude cram a Big Mac down his hole while washing it down with a bucket of Coke in one cup holder, and one of those giant fucking Red Bell cans in the other (for energy, of course), and then hammerin’ down what appeared to be an ice-cream cone full of mayo-naisse to polish it all off.  And that was just in the time it took for the light to turn green.    And yes, I’m sure you all can think of a million other ways that people could be using that time to make themselves worse, (feel free to send some of those ideas to me at www.aler, oh nevermind.  Anyway, there are not only an unlimited number of ways to use it to make yourself better, but it is actually one of the best times to spend making yourself a little healthier.  Take breathing for example.  How many times during the course of a normal day do you spend being conscious of even one breath you take?  Something to think about, considering most of you can only answer none, or else you’re lying again.  Most people are not conscious of even one breath, some people never are.  Here is an interesting tidbit: Did you know that breathing is the one function of the human body that can be performed both consciously and unconsciously?  If you said yes, you are clearly a pathological liar, but it’s true.  Again, think about it.  Even if you just turned everything off, radio, cell phone, the voice in your head, for 5 minutes at a time, and used it to practice quieting your mind, would that not make you a healthier person?  Remember that Principle of the North Star I was talking about in the last post: Every single move you make, throughout the course of your lifetime, is moving you in a direction that is either better or worse, healthier or unhealthier, smarter or dumber, and by the number of dumbass-fucks that there are in Kansas City alone, I know that time is not being spent in a way that I would describe as anything but horrendous.  My method of choice: audiobooks.  That’s all I listen to when I’m in the car.  Thanks to iTunes, and the demise of radio, I listen to hundreds of books over the course of the year, which is a big fucking difference when compared to the average 10 to 20 books that I read on an annual basis.  That might not be the thing that you want to do, but I would challenge everyone to try just this one simple exercise, that really isn’t so simple.  For the next 30 days, while in the car, at any point throughout the day (but the goal has to be every day for 30 days in a row), try to be conscious of just one breath.  That’s it.  You can pay attention to two if you want, but the challenge is just to be aware of one, single breath.  If you can do that for 30 days, I guarantee you that you will feel different.  And very rarely do I ever guarantee anything, unless it has to do with a dude that calls himself Mr. Happy and drives that bitchin’, rusty van, and coaches little league teams despite not having any kids on the team! 

Don’t forget to check out www.TrainSmartKC.com for this week’s free workout.  It gets posted tomorrow, and every Tuesday.  Gracias!